another day another grumble
i did a rather mean thing today. or at least i think its pretty mean. kinda like evil but yet i dont feel its entirely wrong. i guess this is what u get from accumalated bottled up feelings of being unappreciated and somewhat cast aside with neglect. i kinda feel guilty for wad i did, but at the same time i dont feel it was wrong. i kinda feel gleeful for standing up, doing what i really felt deep within but still guilty and mean. and i tot i could be a wholesome creature. o wells. mayb the problem lies in me, mayb its the vibe i give off. but still. i dont think overcoming the barrier within myself would be easy. like how do u smile, when theres nothin to smile about, how do you maintain cheery when ur feelings are not considered. and as long as i bottle it all up one day it will just spill. and when i set my mind to stop caring(which most of the time doesnt work) mayb one day i will just stop and realise the grp of who i think is lovely to be ard is not worth my time and worth it for me to try. i am quite difficult to be around.
